honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
