Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
True strength comes from lack of pants
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
