Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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