I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize