I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
