You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
