STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
