You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
