So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
