Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
