He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
