i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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