If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize