I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
