I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
