and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
