I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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