I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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