I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
