I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
