i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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