So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The adults are the big ones right?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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