Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
