May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Damn victory sex feels great
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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