yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize