addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
