Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
