you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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