what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
