Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
