Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
