We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
