I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
