I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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