she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
