u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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