I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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