New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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