I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
