Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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