she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
