Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
