I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
