so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
