is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
