I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize