Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
