dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
