how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
