It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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