hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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