end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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