Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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