I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
