Whod you bang
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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