DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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