I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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