They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
