I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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