Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
