is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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