I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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