Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
